Its me again

I'm here again! Have anyone ever given up? Given up on the fight for a better thinner body, a better home life, a better marriage.....? I think I have and it makes me very sad! I dont know if I can get out of this "funk" this sad sinking feeling deep down inside of my soul! Is it worth the fight to get it all back or do I even want to? Sorry this is all I have the stomach to type.

Quiet Weekend

Hi..........hi..........it was a quiet weekend here at the house. My daughter went away for weekend and left old mom and dad alone but of course the dog was here. We really didn't do anything special, lazied around the house all day Saturday. We did book a gambling trip to Tunica, MS around Labor Day weekend. So far today we have done the usual washing and cleaning. I have been giving thought to buying an iPad2 for my enjoyment, since I am not allowed on the computer that much during the evening and weekends. Due to my past history that doesn't need to be spoken about.
Anyway, I have almost talked myself out of it actually. I think if I did buy it I would spend more time with it and not on the things I do need to spend time on..........that is ME. I am so attached to this touch that it has almost become a piece of me. Sad isn't it. But at times it does give a little joy and an escape from the real world and that is all I am looking for at times..............an escape!
The little lady across the street is selling some of her stuff this weekend in a garage sale of sorts. They are packing her things up as I sit here to probably move and sell the house her and her husband lived in for so long. Can you imagine the memories she must have and now leaving behind. All those memories now all boxed up and shipped, sold, moved .........vanished in a blink. Is that all life is, stuff that can be sold, boxed, moved? I ask you what in your life can no one take and put in a box. For me its my dreams and that at times is my life..........a very good life in deed.

I'm Here Again

Another week another failed attempt to lose weight. Perhaps this site should be more of a dedication to the issue of weight lose instead of heart disease. Although sometimes all of this goes hand in hand. It is all connected actually, reduce your weight and you reduce the risk of heart disease. Hey I might be onto something here. Another week of unmotivated to get up and do any exercise. WoW!! What loser I am and that might be the only thing I am good at being a loser of being a loser at life. I did have a good week at work, boss out of town and I really stayed busy. I love my job and the people I work with. I have so much to lose this weight for and this year and next year.
I sit here late on a Saturday night while my hubby is out and daughter in her room. I do have one stress reliever that is playing Words for Friends on my Ipod Touch. It really is a nice escape from reality, day to day and fills up my evening time. I guess that is all I have to say for now, I think I will go and have a glass of wine! Good night and happy reading!

It's Been a Long Time

Wow I can't believe its been 2 years since I have done anything on this blog. I guess with all the other media devices I use this just don't seem to come into play any more. I have missed you blog my heartfelt friend. I promise I will try to write something every week at least. What is going on in my life, my heart and my health. All those things are in the crapper right now. My job I am learning to love again, my heart well it is giving me some pain from time to time which leads me to the health. I can't seem to stop eating, don't know what is driving me to this way of living.

I think something I have a death wish against my own self. I am eating myself to death.

Rainy Night

Its me again, believe it or not. I have been away a few days the Internet has been down. Even though I don't Blog that often I seemed to have missed it knowing I couldn't get online. It has been a rainy day here in GA, oh how we needed this all summer long.
Since my son moved out, I think I have handled it very well no break downs, he comes over to get a good home cooked meal every now and then. However, my daughter hasn't missed him so much. She has taken over his room after a fresh coat of paint. Her old room is now her living room, dang we may never see this girl again. I think for her birthday she is going to want a mini refrig for the room so she doesn't have to come out of that side of the house at all. Its all good, she is growing up so fast.
I have gotten back into the exercise routine again, finally. And to my surprise I have laid off ice cream all week, but then again I didn't buy any for me to eat. Amazing how that works, if you don't buy it you can't eat it. Hmmmmmmmmmm! Everything is getting back to normal since the holiday. Although, I haven't heard much from a long time friend, they seemed to have misplaced my number or something like that. I guess when they get time the phone will ring and we can catch up once again. Good night for now, I'll try to blog more in 2009!

A New Year .. A New Me?!

Well its 2009, can you believe how fast the hours, days, weeks, months fly by to get to the end of another year. Every year the promises of a new beginning a new me another year of promise to get a better job, a better body, a better over all life. And what happens.........do we forget or do we just give up. I think it is we or should I say "I" get complacent with my life as it is and don't want to put forth the effort to make a change. I get into a rut and comfortable with the way it has been going for some 50 years and don't want to really change.
So will this be the year I make that change....a truly change in my life, to create a new life as I know it today. I want to make a change with my career, a new body that I can really be proud of and hold on to it FOREVER. I would even like to do some changes around the house a little fixer upper if you will. I can make all kinds of promises but it is up to me to do it and stay with the promises I make to myself.

Poof its over

Why is it that we spend half if not all year waiting for this day? Is it the presents we wait for, the eating frenzy, the long time off or just seeing the pretty lights and being all festive and friendly. I'm not sure myself but it seems that in an instant its all over with. The presents are ripped through, the bellies are full(then the left overs are to be eaten), the days off fly by because you stay so busy with "stuff" that has to be done before 12/24 and the lights are all snuffed out like they never were lite and forget the friendlies everyone is back to grumpy again.
But alas we start another year fresh with high hopes and thoughtful ways. You have to ask yourself did you accomplish what you started out hoping for in 2008. I know I personally didn't but then I can't imagine very many people who did. I think sometimes if we accomplish what we start out with we have to maintain it and is that realistic either. I have several goals for 2009 but don't want to say them out loud or for that matter write them down. Would I have to be more accountable if I did, perhaps but in my own mind I'll keep them to myself. For then if I fail then it is myself that will be disappointed not for everyone to know.
The real reason is or should be is Jesus and his birth. Let us not forget this is his day and not so much for the jolly old man in a red suit. I am thankful for each and every day that I have friends and family that are so near and dear to me. Good night!